He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
