gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
