Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
