if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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