No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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