He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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