sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize