Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
