pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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