So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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