OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize