She is in my trunk
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
