Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
