I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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