We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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