Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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