That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
