Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize