You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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