I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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