We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
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We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize