Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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