Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
