also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
