We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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