Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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