What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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