Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
