I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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