2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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