At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
