apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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