Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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