I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
