Already got asked if we're dating
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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