This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
