I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize