K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
