I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
