he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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