oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize