he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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