You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
