so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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