Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
