I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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