apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
