We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
