after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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