He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
