it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
