the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
