k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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