in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
