Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
