Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
