it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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