Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
