That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Damn victory sex feels great
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