try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
